I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
