dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
