I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
