Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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