Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
