Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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