My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
