Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
