You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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