1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
