We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize