I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
