I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
