am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
