so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
