I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
