Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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