I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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