he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
