using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
