i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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