We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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