you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
