SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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