it was like his penis was on wheels.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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