do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize