It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
3 2 1 whiskey
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
