She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
