Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
