i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
