Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
