At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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