the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
