; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
