Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize