You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
