idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
