There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
