It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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