How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
nutella sex= disaster
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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