She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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