Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
