oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I've blown a few things in my day
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
