i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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