Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
