i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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