soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
