i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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