I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
