Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
