Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
